The Charm of Aloneness!

“I love being a tool for somebody to create mind blowing art. Over here, I modeled for the awesomest Maral Sarkissian for her graduation project for her BA in Graphic Design (University Of Petra – Faculty of Architecture & Design). It was a campaign for self-empowering and pushing people to their maximum, referring to the basic elements of life, Earth-Fire-Water-Wind-Metal-Time.”-Rafic

By Rafic

   Amman is a very tough city when it comes to social life; it’s divided into so many circles depending on social class, ethnic and education background among other things. And the social butterfly I am, I happen to be running around so many circles that are very different, like if I gather all the people I know in one room the next day Amman will go through civil war. So I always end up running away from everybody just to have some “Me” time on my own.

You shouldn’t really give a flying damn what others think or how they really look at you when you walk in to a place full of people on your own.

you need to know that you and only you decide how people perceive you and look at you, if you looked awkward like the typical movie scene where somebody is waiting for a blind date  then my darling you’re doomed and you will get more judgment than an Arab leader in the Arab spring .

But if you are very comfortable and confident then the surrounding will actually admire you for being such an independent individual.

if you are in place full of people, and you’re sitting on your own enjoying a hot cup of coffee and a book, you are awesome!

If you are having a drink and reading something with your smart phone, you are awesome

But if you’re sitting on your own enjoying your food, drink and the music being played at that place you are key of awesomeness!

I mean, nobody really cares if you are on your own or with somebody, as long as you’re minding your own business and not eyeing other people or cruising.

That is not cool! Don’t look around and give sweet eyes, this will make you look like a pathetic pervert. you went out to have fun and enjoy a good meal or a good drink! And if it happens and you meet somebody then that would be very cool. But that shouldn’t be the aim of you hanging out on your own.

There is certain charm in aloneness, of spending your own time on your own, celebrating your oness, who you really are and how you treasure your privacy and spending quality time with yourself.

My personal treat is when I get a cup of coffee from Cups&Kilos, sit on the front stone wall on the Rainbow Street, put my headphones on and listen to my favorite music. Every time I do that I disconnect from the world, it’s just me, my coffee, my music and the visual of people walking by to the rhythm of my music. I wave at the people I know, I smile to kids looking out from car windows. It’s my run away, my short term solitude

Short-term solitude is often valued as a time when one may work, think or rest without being disturbed. It may be desired for the sake of privacy or it could be just for the sake of “zoning out” and contemplating. In this sense solitude is positive, and a distinction has been made between solitude and loneliness.

There are many benefits to spending time alone; freedom is considered to be one of the benefits of solitude.

The constraints of others will not have any effect on a person who is spending time in solitude, therefore giving the person more of a scope to his actions. With increased freedom, a person’s choices are less likely to be affected by exchanges with others.

Am a person who works in the dark backstage of the entertainment industry, am always in need of inspiration and things to stimulate my mind. And what is more effective to do that than observing human beings?

Creativity can be sparked when given freedom. Solitude can increase freedom and moreover, freedom from distractions has the potential to spark creativity.

In 1994, psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi found that adolescents who cannot bear to be alone often fall short of enhancing creative talents.

Another proven benefit to time given in solitude is the development of self. When a person spends time in solitude from others, he may experience changes to his self-concept.

This can also help a person to form or discover his identity without any outside distractions. Solitude also provides time for contemplation, growth in personal spirituality, and self-examination. In these situations, loneliness can be avoided as long as the person in solitude knows that they have meaningful relations with others. Like sometime alone in a restaurant, café corner every once in a while is always good.

You are alone, you are not lonely. Therefore you must not pity yourself or feel awkward. Loneliness is the poverty of self; solitude is the richness of self.


Rafic is a blogger and a My.Kali photographer. If you want to read more of Rafic’s views and be updated on his work and posts, you can visit his blog ‘The Enchanted Fairy’ where he expresses more through photography and art. Check his blog (here)

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