What Would Wilhelmina Do?
Here at My.Kali we receive a lot of questions about sex and sexuality, which we consider a normal state of curiosity since sex education in this part of the world is depressingly medieval and backward, particularly where it concerns same-sex issues. We do not judge; we are here to give you information that is correct and factual (as much as we can based on many things, from book knowledge to experience). We do not condone unsafe sex or unsafe practices, so we advise all of you out there to play safe, be informed and USE A CONDOM IF A SERO TEST IS NOT AVAILABLE. If anyone uses the old excuse of “being allergic to latex”, well then, no latex no entry, simple as that. And if they still insist on not using a condom, dump them and get away as fast as you can.
Now, on to the hot topic of: Your Sex Qs!
Q: “How do men fake orgasms – if they don’t ejaculate, isn’t that a giveaway?” – Ahmad*
A: If the man can ejaculate, there’s no way to fake orgasm. (Well, if he’s wearing a condom he can actually fake it.) Some men, however, can’t ejaculate so they fake it, and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s just one of those things that happen. Sometimes it is physiological and sometimes psychological; it doesn’t mean they care less for you. At least appreciate the fact that they bothered to pretend.
Q: “How long can erections last?” – Rami*
A: An average erection can last 5-10 minutes if nothing is being done to maintain it, but then again the duration depends on how it was stimulated (whether visually, physically or medically). It varies from person to person. Here at My.Kali, we try to refrain from cookie cutter estimates. Everything is based on the specific individual.
Q: “Could frequent shrinking – say, due to cold water – cause a penis to become permanently smaller?” – Talal*
A: Cold water makes the penis smaller for only a couple of minutes. The penis also tends to shrink in winter, but never permanently. It’s a matter of blood flow to the organ and how strong the circulation is. Actually, this is a good time to bring this up: If you have a hard time getting it up and it stays flaccid, it might mean you have a circulatory problem or heart disease (not necessarily, but it could be a sign).
Q: “How long does intercourse typically last for most gay people?” – Moe*
A: It depends on the couple for some couples 30 minutes is more than enough, but for the others it takes several hours. It also depends on how much you have been drinking, or if you have been using recreational drugs and all that. Also the various stimuli, and your own personal ability to the act more than once in a session.
Q: “Why do things like getting my hair pulled not hurt during sex?” – Samer*
A: It’s both a psychological thing and a physical thing (Endorphins) the nervous system is busy with other things so you won’t feel the pain, according to some, but the actual thing is the pleasure chemical endorphins is flooding your system so that pain can be pleasure too. Hence the BDSM (Bondage Dominance Sadism Masochism) culture has become popular, because people have been whoring it up and tried everything they have to resort to other stimulatory devices and this is where it comes in. Again it is all up to your experience.
Q: “My guy fell asleep during sex. What the hell?” – Chris*
A: It’s psychological thing maybe he doesn’t sleep enough and the sex makes him feel little less stressed, the mind sometimes mistranslates things in a illogical way, so instead of having sex his mind turn off his body to sleeping mode, and don’t forget there are that hormones (Endorphins and Serotonin) get released after sex which make him sleepy. Hard day at work, hard night at play whatever don’t judge.
Q: “I heard semen has some benefits and can even be an anti-depressant. Is that BS concocted by guys who want to get laid?” – Laith*
A: Supposedly it has a lot of nutrients and works magnificently as a face mask, I think whomever wrote that or based that research was a man and he was just expanding on a myth told by many other men wanting to get laid. So let us chalk this one up to an “Urban Myth” for the time being.
Q: “Does sex feel different with an uncircumcised guy?” – Mostafa*
A: Well I read an article it says the circumcised guys have more sensitive organs because their penises are more exposed but I read another opinion says; a Woman’s Sexual Pleasure is Dramatically Decreased during intercourse when the man’s penis has been surgically altered by circumcision and both these are suppositions and fallacies. The circumcised male is logically less sensitive as the glans the head of the penis is exposed and due to many years of wear and tear it got less sensitive, which mean that circumcised men are can usually last longer than the uncircumcised ones (not in all cases), but in general and with logical though an uncircumcised penis is highly sensitive and from my experience the circumcised ones go the distance longer.
Q: “I like guy-on-guy porn, but I’m straight girl. Is that normal?” – Amal*
A: It’s like a straight guy watch a lesbian porn movie and this completely normal so sure it’s normal for a lady to watch gay porn and especially the straight porn movies are set up for men more than for woman. And the men in the gay porn usually are better looking more fit physically than the men in straight porn, nothing wrong in admiring beauty is there now.
Q: “Does shoe size really correlate to penis size?” – Abed*
A: Well lot of myths say that the penis size correlate to shoe size or noise size too sometimes the length of the man but all this has nothing to do with the penis size. And skinny men look as if they have immense girth length and width but that is usually an optical illusion, they size matters not, but we say you also cannot make butter with a tooth pick.
And trying to guess a person size is like finding a needle in a hay stack, but you can always try and measure the middle finger from tip to wrist and supposedly that gives and indicator, I personally have found that to be untrue, but hey it makes for good conversations and a damned good funny ice-breaker.
Q: “Can a person be gay if he’s never been with a guy or only slept with girls? What is second base for a gay man—a kiss on the cheek” – Tony*
A: Yes I think probably he doesn’t know himself or unable to understand the process of the sexuality, and what is the current obsession we have of labeling people? Labels are for things not people, if a person is blissfully unaware of their sexuality why force them into a choice that is just unkind and unfair. You mind your penis and they can mind theirs, that is our philosophy, and if some people want to be celibate that does not mean there is something wrong with them, they just can’t be bothered or have been through something that made them say no way no more.
Q: “Why do some lesbians like watching gay porn, when the whole idea of being a lesbian is hating everything man, or the idea of penetration?” – Lubna*
A: Where did you get the idea of lesbians hating penetration? That is utter nonsense some of the lesbians I know have the biggest selection of erotic toys in existence. It is the idea of being with a man that turns them off, just like the idea of being with a woman can turn a gay guy off. Maybe because the gay porn movies are the most honest (well, honest and honest nothing lasts that long if you haven’t taken anything, and creative editing and looping makes those scenes last even longer) because the men can’t hide their orgasm so it’s more realistic. What goes on in the mind of a woman will always remain a mystery to a man, so do not bother at all.
Once again we reiterate that you should always be careful out there, there are a lot of ruthless sick individuals who are only after one thing, they do not care who they harm. So young people be aware there is a big disease out there with a little name and that is also the killer. And there are various of STD (sexually transmitted diseases) out there, Herpes being one of them and so on and so forth so please be careful. And if anyone says that these diseases are the realm of the gays well just inform them that they should check their facts it is more prevalent among straights because of their idea that they have the right to screw anything without being safe.
* All names have been changed to protect the privacy of our readers
Do you want to solve your deepest worry? Have a dirty Q and you can’t find its A on Google? Maybe boyfriend/girlfriend issues? Remain anonymous and do send Wilhelmina your questions and thoughts, just title the message “To WWWD” and contact us (here)